I rock the birthday party scene.
Oh yes I do. Here are the pictures from Wyatt’s 4 year old Camping themed birthday party. The activities included: Decorating a Walking stick. Make your own trail mix bar. Scavenger hunt for things in nature. Each child got an adventurer satchel with a water bottle and a flashlight. We also had tent play. We hung around the camp fire and then we did in fact camp that night. We had a blast!
A dose of “Get Real!”
I’m in the mood to lay it out there. I’m in the mood to pass on the Zen and GET REAL. Not that being zen isn’t real. It’s a beautiful space to be in. I’m often there. And actually getting real is very zen to me also. But for others, it’s sometimes not. I live and work on the premise of honesty. That doesn’t mean you have to believe me, or agree with me. Frankly, I don’t care either way. What I care about is knowing my truths and living accordingly. I have some pretty fantastic truths, so I like to think that’s a good thing.
Today I will offer some of my truths. See if they are a fit for you. If not, send them out with the recycling. Maybe try them on for size though. Not because I want to be right, but because we can all always learn from each other. So here we go, no particular order:
1. Strike the word “make” from your vocab. As in “He made me”,” she made me”, “cigarettes make me”, “you make me”, “that makes me” etc. Listen here: nobody/nothing MAKES you anything. You are in complete control of your perceptions, your actions, your words, your thoughts, and your reactions. Just as you have the ability to change, shift, grow and evolve your ideas/ideals. Stop with the blame. Stop with the giving over power to someone or something else. No one makes you sad, or hurts your feelings, or makes you feel better even. You do it all. You are not Pinocchio…you are a real boy! So strike that word from your dialogue when used in conjunction with blame, and releasing your power. Take it back as a matter of fact. Take responsibility and take control. Your world is as awful or awesome as you want to make it. You are not the victim.
2.Speaking of which, what’s up with “recovery, recovered, survivor, survived and the like. Not just those terms, but the energy of staying attached to those terms and what they mean to your life? Don’t you realize that as long as you are surviving, you haven’t survived. And even as long as you’ve survived, you’re never just you in the present moment? For example, I do not say “I’m a recovered bulimic.” That experience was freaking 18 years ago! Seriously. I have no need to continue to carry that identification with me. It was an experience, a time in my life that was for many reasons and I learned a lot. Sure it was formative, but I’ve moved on. Or another example is that I don’t say “I’m a survivor of sexual abuse”, (well okay sometimes I do, but only to help ppl that are stuck in that mode understand that I can empathize with them). But on any given day, I do not stay attached to that energy. There is a big difference between being a survivor, or even survived, then just “I experienced sexual abuse.” It was a lot of things. Perhaps a soul agreement with those that abused me. Perhaps, I’ll never know why. Perhaps it was the biggest life lesson I could experience by. There I’ve taken that and turning it into something powerful. I help others. No matter what, I truly believe it is possible to move past addictions and being recovered. The choice is yours. As long as you want to stay attached to a certain energy, as long as you want to continue giving your power to something or someone else; well, then you will. But as soon as you want to claim it back for yourself, you also can. I’m sure there are a lot of people out there that might disagree with this. They might say “but Jamie I’m an alcoholic, and I can never touch a drink again to stay recovered.” Okay. I’m not disagreeing with you. I’m not suggesting you drink a beer. It’s not like your missing out on anything by not drinking. But you can still just be you and no longer claim that addiction and any control over you it has. Instead it can be a healthy life choice to not drink, or smoke, or not stick your finger down your throat. I know, because I’ve done it. I’ve let several attachments go. I’m not recovering or even recovered, nor am I a survivor. I’m just Jamie. I’m me. Here. Now. It’s a great place to be.
3.Thirdly. I want you to stop apologizing for being you. I have clients all the time that consistently apologize for everything. For having a thought process. For not understanding something they are just learning. For being confused. For having an opinion. In a one hour session I often hear people apologize up to 5-6 times. ??!! That’s insane. We are just having a conversation, what the heck are you always apologizing for? The only time I want an apology is when you really have screwed something up! And being able to truly just say “I’m sorry” without all the other nonsense (particularly excuses) is a VERY powerful thing, no doubt. But all the other sorry’s, that really just mean: “I’m sorry for being me,” are really unacceptable. I’m not interested in your apologies for being you. Save em for someone else who buys that crap. Instead, own you. Be happy to be you and everything that entails. When you make a mistake, learn from it and move on. But thinking for yourself, having an opinion and voicing your beliefs are not apology necessary. Make them a statement, not a question!
So there you have it. Probably enough realness to carry you through the day. I double dog dare you to try these truths out just for today. Think you can release attachments, stop blaming anything else and stop being so damn apologetic? Instead try empowered, inspired and joyful living. Hey, what have you got to lose?
Jamie in Wonderland.
I believe that all people are great big spirits full of love, wisdom and joy. And when a physical body is born Earthside, we as a spirit, that have chosen that body, squeeze our great big lovely spirits, into that teeny tiny little body. So you would think that as our physical bodies grow, that then our spirits would be so happy to expand into more space and we would continue to shine. However, we live in a world full of; training, squashing, fear, control and dis-empowerment. It begins with being taught as a child, that you are not worthy to make decisions for yourself and you are meant to be seen, not heard. Which equates to not feeling worthy of respect, because, well, you aren’t respected. Not only are you not respected, you will always be told what to do. Then when you don’t do what the big person tells you, you might actually get hit in order to train you to be submissive instead of taught to heed your inner voice and learn to express yourself in a positive way. Oh no, you will just be taught to shut the hell up. That voice, that’s in your heart, your INTUITION, is usually forgotten because the adults around you don’t listen to theirs, (theirs was shut down when they were a child too), and so they don’t know how to keep you in touch with yours. And as we grow, we learn life through violent and trashy television. We watch the adults around us struggle constantly with things like keeping up with the joneses, working themselves to exhaustion and not knowing how to take care of themselves. Children don’t learn emotional techniques, because the adults around them don’t know any. And the disconnect between body, mind, and spirit grows and grows and grows as the human body grows, and children turn into selfish, incapable of love, power hungry, intuition lacking, fearful adults that have no idea of the true wisdom they possess inside of themselves. That great big spirit that squashed itself into a tiny body, is now only a dim light now and is no longer the brightest aspect of themselves, even though it finally has enough physical room to expand. This has been clear to me for a long time.
I too, once lived that truth. For the first 22 years of my life. There were bigger than me people that tried to squash me by sexually abusing me. And it worked for awhile. Instead of love and joy, I felt afraid, alone and sad. I lived the very common” tortured life” for many years, through suicide attempts, eating disorders, drama, drama, drama and so on. But I’m actually one of the lucky ones. (If you believe in luck, which I don’t). My spirit has always been so enormous and so strong, that through all the years of the tortured life, I knew something was very wrong with living that way. But I was doing what everyone else was doing. Which is a very easy thing to do because that sort of living is what is most supported in this world today. Everyone understands the tortured life. I mean, my goodness, there are people and places out there waiting to support that lifestyle…counselors, psychiatrists, pills, psych wards, rehab centers galore, etc. And I know a lot of people are grateful for those places, I’m not speaking badly of them, as I have used most of the services I just listed at one time or another. But how come it is that most people don’t seem to ever really get better? They only get dependent on the system. Ah well, that may be a post for another time.
But I broke free of that lifestyle 12 years ago. My inner spirit, my truths spoke up and although it took some intense work to hear them at first, it got easier over time. Now, it’s what I hear first and foremost. I don’t hear the B.S. I still see it around me of course. I know it remains the prevalent lifestyle for most. In fact, it’s painfully clear to me all the time. And I really mean painful. I do get disappointed with people a lot. I find that I can’t keep very many people close to me because I tend to put out a lot more than I get back.. And it’s also painful because as an empath I actually do feel what others feel. Often, I even feel the weight of the world. It’s not pleasant usually. But even with all that said, I am a lover of life. And my spirit is H U G E!!
Let me tell you what it’s like to have a connection to God(ess) and to your great big spirit full of wisdom while letting joy lead the way in your life.
It is easy to see many angels of a situation. It’s easy to love. It’s easy to be generous. It’s easy to be thoughtful. It’s easy to think of others first, even if I have a lot going on in my own life. It’s easy to be a friend. It’s easy to be an active participant in life. It’s easy to care for more than one person at a time. It’s easy to feel joy in all situations. It’s easy to trust that everything will be okay, no matter what the circumstance. It’s easy to speak from the heart. It’s easy to apologize. It’s easy to forgive. It’s easy to hear another person. It’s easy to accept all people for who they are. It’s easy to do a lot of things in life at once because passion and inspiration take precedence. It’s easy to laugh. It’s easy to cry. It’s easy to just.be.happy. It’s easy to see other people’s true spirits, but frustrating that they don’t see it themselves. It’s easy to be active and spin many plates in the air at one time. It’s easy to thrive and has nothing to do with surviving. It’s easy to relinquish the terms “I’m a survivor or I’ve survived” and replace them with, “I live”. It’s easy to not only give love but to accept love. It’s easy to have self-esteem and know your own strengths. It’s easy to care for Mother Earth, as a first priority. It’s easy to pray. It’s easy to trust. It’s easy to be who I am 100% of the time, no matter what anyone else thinks about it.
It’s easy.
But I have to say. That for most people it’s not easy, (and that in itself is a choice). And I also have to be very honest and say that it is difficult to be such a great big huge Spirit constantly trying to live in a world of great small people. And the disappointment that I feel comes from tiring of the excuses, drama and difficulty they think everything is. It’s hard to be around people that refuse happiness and need to remain in the muck. And I’m told I have too high of expectations. And I have thought and thought and pondered over the years, about if that is true. I’ve wondered how to diminish my true values, in order to allow others to continue living in their small, shut off worlds. But I realize I can’t, I shouldn’t and I simply WON’T. First of all, it’s not a matter of expectations. It’s how I live my life. And I know that if I can do it, so can anyone else. We are all capable of having our spirits reign. And I refuse, to get squashed back down because most people cannot meet me at the level I operate from. Instead I will continue to be gigantic. I’m the person, that after you’ve been in contact with me, you feel better. You don’t know why, because normally, after being in contact with others, you often feel worse (energy-vampiring). I fill up a room easily. Yes, partially that’s because I’m loud. But mostly it’s energy, whether you understand that or not. People have always told me my whole life that I’m memorable. Sure, I’m fine enough looking. Nothing super exciting there though. Yeah, I can be funny, I suppose. But I promise, it’s really the light that shines through that you remember. People constantly compare themselves to me. And even if you think this is the most egotistical post you’ve ever read and you are assuming I must l.o.v.e. that…well you’d be wrong on both counts. Yup, I have a healthy self-esteem and the only reason that’s so offensive, is because most people are used to others that have no self-esteem. You may be one of them. And two, I actually really hate people comparing themselves to me. I’m me, you are you. Stop wanting to be me, start wanting to be YOU. It actually really annoys me when people compare themselves to me. I get sick of hearing: “how do you do all that? how do you have time, I don’t have the time to pick my nose.” Sure you do. When you are plugged into the ultimate energy source (God, the Universe, your own spirit), you can do anything and everything you want. I do it all the time. The comment that bugs me the most is: “You’re really setting the bar high.” UGH. No I’m not! I’m doing what needs to be done. I’m living life to the fullest.
IT’S EASY.
This post has many layers to it. You may or may not get all of them. Honestly, it was more for me, then for anyone else. This great big spirit has to get things off the brain and heart sometimes. The post actually stems from a conversation that I had with my husband last night about some things I’ve been dealing with the past week. And it was in that conversation that I told him; “I feel like this great big huge spirit that’s always trying to squash myself into the overall energy of the world today which is small. small. small….” I told him that I didn’t understand why everything has to be so difficult for everyone, but yet it all seems so easy for me. Yes, I’m special and unique, but so are you. So that’s not why it’s easy for me. It’s easy for me because of the choices I make and the energetic vibration level I run at. But I’ll tell you, I have a lot of Alice in wonderland moments trying to fit myself into the world of; hard, pain and fear. 
But I don’t like fitting myself into other people’s small boxes. It’s extremely uncomfortable on many levels. So what I’ve learned to do is create sacred space in my home, always being conscious of the energy in it. I am completely comfortable to be my most biggest self in my own home. And I have to be very careful about who I keep very close to me. I read a quote on FB not that long ago, that I love. It was something along the lines of “Don’t keep people around you that you don’t want to be like.” I feel so much truth in that saying. I also put myself in situations that involve a lot of love, respect, joy and kindness. I love pregnant women, baby showers, weddings, parties, concerts etc. Situations where the energy is happy and lively and fun! I also protect my energy a lot when around other people. I’ve also decided to pursue my life’s work; which is to help others find their true inner spirit. It is a beautiful process and I’m always blessed to be a part of it. And most importantly I parent my children in the way that helps them to never lose sight of their inner spirit. In fact, we embrace it. And besides continuing to just be who I am, raising my children to be who they are is the single most important thing I can do for this planet.
Phew. Long post. Lots to say. If you made it this far, then my guess is you probably needed to hear this. Maybe it’s time for you to get in touch with your spirit? Just a thought.
Mindful Spirit Expo
Every once in awhile I have a really great idea. And just as often, I have some that aren’t so great. But a few months ago, after experiencing my first Expo, I decided that it was time for Mississippi to have such an event. And this idea, to host an Expo, is a idea that will change lives for the better. One thing I’ve learned in my work as a healer, is that for every person you affect, you really create a wave and it affects many people. More people than you’ll ever even know, and in ways, you’ll never even know about. And this Expo will serve the purpose of supplying heart-opening, vibration-lifting, mind-blowing information to the masses. It’s a wake up call to see what is working in your life and what isn’t. It’s about making changes to improve your quality of life. It’s about seeing things differently. It’s about healing. It’s about JOY!
The Mindful Spirit Expo is Intuitive Encounters personal platform of health, well-being, love, light, energy, intuition and open mindedness. Is there a better platform? And it has been such fun to plan and pull together amazing exhibitors from around the country. People that I believe will share the light as well. There are exhibitors about many health related things. There are products, that of course are only 100% natural, no chemicals, no toxins and wonderfully beneficial to your body. There are healers that offer all kinds of different ways to experience the body, mind and spirit connection.
In this first Expo, I hand picked each exhibitor that I felt had a strong spirit to teach and reach as many people as possible. Almost all products and information are things that I have personally experienced at some point in my life. If you know anything about me, if you’ve read my book; THE GENERAL MANAGER OF YOUR UNIVERSE perhaps, then you know that I spent the first 22 years of my life fighting depression. I went through a lot of ugly and difficult times (as well as many wonderful ones). And at 22, I was sick and tired, of being sick and tired. So I shifted my focus from Western: “cover up the symptoms” pill therapy, to holistic, energy healing. I have experienced healers around the world and modalities of health and wellness of all kinds. I choose, all natural, chemical free, holistic living and health care now. And I’m 12 past any sort of depression. I live vibrantly. I rarely get sick. My energy levels soar. And I continue to live ecstatically and joyfully, even in the most difficult of times.
And now I have children to raise and this is the way we do it. Our medicine cabinet is filled with Essential Oils; little gifts from God I tell people. I mos recently have been using Essential oils for my son’s growing pains and my dogs fleas. i’ve also been using them as peaceful aromatherapy for my house, to help the vibe when potential new owners come and look at it. My own hands are my biggest healing tool in life’s toolbox, thanks to Reiki. I put my little healing hands on myself or something at least once a day. I’ve been a vessel for miracles more times than I can count in the 9 years of doing Reiki. I have an acupuncture appointment today that I cannot wait for. Not for anything acute, but because I like to operate at my highest level of well-being at all times. Acupuncture balances my energy system physically and ethereally. I get massages regularly. Not only when I’ve worked hard enough to deserve one, once every six months. I work JOYFULLY hard all the time. And I deserve to relax, get grounded and feel good all the time. And when I make myself a priority, I function better as a wife, as a mother, as a healer.
Oh yes, I make myself a priority. And the Mindful Spirit Expo is about teaching others (YOU) to do the same. It’s about looking at yourself and at life differently. Seeing the possibility that maybe there really is more than meets the eye to this thing called life. It’s about THRIVING, not surviving, regardless of where you’ve been, or what you are going through.
The Mindful Spirit Expo is about conscious action to live life fully and have a fantastic time while doing it. I am so pleased with how it’s all come together. I am so excited for June 25th and June 26th to be here and for the hundreds of people to walk through the doors not knowing what to expect; and walk out a changed person. Every person will leave with something. I know it.
I am always looking for ways to shift perceptions and help people see things in a different light. And now, I bring you the Intuitive Encounters Mindful Spirit Expo. I hope to see you there!
REMEMBER IF YOU CAN’T BE IN PERSON YOU CAN WATCH ALL SPEAKERS LIVE VIA WEBCAST OR VIA ARCHIVE AT A LATER DATE!!
http://www.intuitiveencounters.com/pages/expo.htm
June 25th 10-6 and June 26th 11-4 Exhibitors and speakers all day both days. You can purchase tickets to come or watch the webcast here:
http://intuitiveencountersexpo.eventbrite.com/
Getting close
My life is spinning, but not in an out of control sort of way. Actually in a vibrant, Kundalini rising, on the right path, steps unfolding rapidly, JOYFUL excited kind of way. All in one week I was honored in the book “Power Moms”. “The women we showcased in Power Moms are mothers we feel leave their mark on other moms in classrooms, on Twitter, in blogs as well as in parking lots. We teach our children to make a difference in the world. Congratulations, you are leading by example.” Thank you Maria Bailey. I enjoyed working with you.
I was also interviewed on James Renford Powell’s Radio show called: “The Know Show” just last night. You can click the link and listen to the archived show. We discussed my upcoming Mindful Spirit Expo that is coming up on June 25 and June 26th in Jackson Mississippi. We also discussed my book and my business and my general Kick ass life philosophies! It was a great interview and I appreciate Mr. Renford’s time and audience.
Next week you can catch me on “Conundrums” which is Jay Micheal of JML Multimedia’s show. It’s a WebTV show. We’ll be chatting about all things, WOO; the paranormal, Energy, Reiki; as well generally living an inspired life by getting real! I’m looking forward to being on Jay’s show.
The Mindful Spirit Expo, MY amazing, life-changing Expo is getting closer and closer. Several things are awesome about this Expo. First of all I’ve got Medical Intuitive Patti Conklin coming to the Expo to share her expertise on the Science of energies as well as she will be conducting her famous Cellular Cleanse. But there are also so many other great people coming to share their gifts. Yet, this is what I am most excited about: blowing the lid off this joint! Mississippi is a place that is slow to change because of extreme resistance and very much oppressive thinking and energy. It’s the truth and there isn’t any way around that. But ever so slowly, things eventually change around here. So the idea that Jackson can host a successful body, mind and spirit type Expo is so wonderful. You just really have no idea, unless you live here, what it really means. But I am the perfect person to open the closet door and let all the local healers and healing modalities be seen in full light! Almost every single exhibitor (19 and counting) has said to me: “Thank you so much for doing this Jamie. I’m ready to step out, but I would never have organized something like this.” No problem..I got this! 
The other thing that is so exciting is not just that the locals are ready, but I have exhibitors from across the country coming to be a part of this. And I have emails from exhibitors around the country writing: “put me on the list for the 2012 Expo!” Why? Because people are so excited that the Deep south is opening up to the possibilities. To understanding there is so much more to living then in one very crowded, very small box. And people around the country want to be a part of this momentous occasion of change and exchange of energy! And I LOVE the fact that people are already assuming, planning and budgeting for next year’s Expo and the first one hasn’t even happened. Nor, did I claim that I would make this annual (okay, okay, we all know I will though!) Point being, this expo means more than a place to come hang out for two days. This expo means change in a HUGE, GIGANTIC way. This is not some no-big deal thing. This is going to be life-changing for the hundreds of people that walk through the doors and what those people carry out in their Spirits will make waves on this whole state and well beyond. Oh wait, not to mention that anyone, anywhere in the world can purchase a ticket and watch any or all of the speaker live through world wide webcast both days of the Expo!
You want to know how I’m going to save the world? One person, or several hundred, probably even thousands at a time…that’s how.
You’ll hear more about the Expo as it’s coming up in a mere 5 weeks. But for lots of information, including how you can watch all the speakers by live webcast right from your home click THESE WORDS.
My business life isn’t the only thing blowing up. My kids are growing so fast. Cooper started Karate and he looks so darn adorable in the uniform, I don’t even know what to do with myself. He will enjoy it thoroughly while we are still here. Wyatt doesn’t want to be called a baby anymore…as in “my sweet baby.” He is officially, by his standards; a big boy and wants to do only big boy things. Fortunately that still seems to include major snuggling time with Mama. Thank Goodness, because I would be heart broken if he gave that up in his claim to big boy fame!
The house is for sale as you know from previous updates. We honestly cannot sell it fast enough. We are so beyond ready to get in an RV and hit the road. But really it’s probably best if it all happens after the Expo and after vacay. Sooo sometime in July would be fantastic. I shall manifest this…
I hope you too are enjoying your life whomever you are, wherever you are. And I mean that. I hope you are choosing to be fulfilled to be passionate, to live authentically and to come to the Mindful Spirit Expo!
(A true business woman never loses a moment)
O.M.G. I forgot to tell you about my new tattoo…well, new and old. It’s a cover up. Something I got done 10 years ago and it was not beautiful. It was not wonderful. Now it’s a beautiful body art. Something I’m proud of. The symbolism is this: OM symbol represents my intuition. The colors represent the chakras (energy centers of body), which represent my energy healer gifts. And the butterfly represents constant transformation. Isn’t it wonderful? I had a great artist that finally gave me exactly what I want! Thank you Tiffany Keyes!
A little of this a little of that
Blogger guilt is annoying. But if you really understood the complexity of life, you would understand why I’m a quality blogger, not a quantity blogger. But today, I am drained (from all wonderful things), but drained none-the-less. So how about a few updates that may or may not interest you?
-Home for sale! I was going to write this big announcement post about putting my house up for sale and explain what that means for our lives and what the plans are. But eh, I’m too tired. So just know, it’s a big deal, it’s pretty great that it’s finally happening and dreams are coming true. That’s that whole post in a nutshell.
-I am adding Expo co0rdinator to my growing list of titles. Here’s the thing about me: I’m a do-oer. I make things happen. And most the time when I experience something I end up thinking, “I could totally do that, fix that, learn that, create that, man that, make that happen”…you get the point. So here I am creating the first ever Body, Mind Spirit Expo in Mississippi. I’m excited, people are excited. I’ve got vendors coming from across the country and from across town. I’ve got big name speakers, including myself (Duh!) and I’ve even got live webcasting to the whole world going on for the speakers. Sure you can check it out: http://www.intuitiveencounters.com/pages/expo.htm. It’s a big deal, it’s a large operation to be over and well, quite simply, I’m rocking it.
-I’ve been making a lot of observations about my children as of late: First of all, they are awesome. And secondly they are awesomely awesome. There’s more, but again, I’m too damn tired to elaborate, so you’ll just have to trust me.
-I’ve been trying oil pulling lately. Google it if you want to know what the heck that is. Not sure if it’s doing anything or not b/c I haven’t been able to keep it up regularly. I should do it while I’m typing this as a matter of fact.
-Green smoothies and acupuncture are what’s keeping on my game lately. Thank Goddess for both!
-I’m going to my first raw food potluck on Saturday. And I’m taking Cooper, my five year old b/c he loves raw food. I’m so pleased to bring him, but that shouldn’t surprise you b/c now you know he’s awesome, right?
-I tried to heal my eyes…it didn’t work. I was mostly blind for a month during this experiment and possibly made my eyes worse. LMAO! Oh c’mon…that’s funny and you know it! As I’ve always said: I’m willing to try almost anything at least once.
-Some people have really been pissing me off lately. Mostly people that have no clue how to communicate. And then those that have no clue what they are talking about b/c they don’t even think for themselves. “I” statements people. Stop telling me how to do it, or how I’m wrong, or how I feel, etc etc. Speak for yourself and be respectful. It’s really not that hard. And also: Conformity bores me to tears. If you can’t think for yourself, well we probably won’t be close. It’s a choice.
-There has been moments of sadness at my recent loss of family. It’s a strange thing to become an only person at the age of 33 and to lose an entire family. But mostly I’m okay with it. Again, it’s a choice.
-Back to happier notes; family vacation in T-minus 8 weeks. I.am.so.excited! And boy will I have “earned” this vacay! I will be going strong right up until that point. And then I do have a book signing in Florida where we’ll be, but other than that, I plan to completely 100% CHILL!
-My book is selling really well. To hear feedback like “It’s changed my entire life for the better!” and “It’s rocking my world!” is pretty awesome. One little book, changing lives across the globe. Oh yes, I do believe I can change the world.
Watch me.
Well that’s about all this tired brain can muster. Have yourself a lovely day. 
Balance; is it everything it’s cracked up to be?
I have had the immense pleasure of crossing paths with a wonderfully insightful woman named Barb Lundgren. She is the founder and creator of the Rethink Everything Conference as well as one of the founders of the Rethink Everything Magazine (along with Sarah Parent). Each time I share dialogue with Barb she blows my mind. She loves to get people thinking…or REthinking if you will. So today I am honored to bring to you a new thought process on the topic of balance. This is just a tidbit of a conversation between Barb and myself to get you started considering the possibility, that maybe balance isn’t as crucial as we’re conditioned to believe.. What do you (RE)think?
Jamie: Hi Barb! Thanks so much for coming over to my blog for a minute. I know you are super busy preparing for the amazing Rethink Everything Conference in September! You and I have only recently gotten to know each other, for which I am grateful. And in our very first conversation you blew my mind when you made the comment about not liking the term or the ideals surrounding BALANCE. Could you explain to me what it is that gets you all fired up about that term and the thought process that tends to go along with it?
Barb: I just want to fall asleep when I hear the word balance! Energetically it feels like mediocrity, moderation, control, sacrifice, forced discipline. There is no passion in balance! When I am interested in something, I am ready to fully immerse myself in it, whether it’s getting fit, eating well, learning a new skill, planning a party, etc. Where does balance fit in there? It doesn’t. If I am focusing on balance, I am withholding. I so enjoy the state of letting myself go to full excitement, preparation and allowance for all those things in the world that keep emerging for me to explore and grow and evolve. I just never think about how I can balance my life.
The truth is that there are always many, many things I am involved in at any given point in my life, people I am connected to, responsibilities I take on, etc. Do I balance them so I can do them all? This may be a simple semantic discussion as we all define this differently, but while I do keep a lot of balls in the air at the same time, it rarely feels stressful or require a conscious “balancing act” because everything I do comes from a place of genuine desire, interest and passion. It never feels like balance, it feels like full immersion. When I feel happy and alive and fully engaged and in charge of my life, it flows, it doesn’t balance.
Me: Why or how do you think people have become obsessed with seeking “balance”?
Barb: Balance is a culturally conditioned moniker for “yeah, yeah, we all want to do what we want all day but we can’t – we have all these things we HAVE to do, SHOULD do, are REQUIRED to do, so “balance” those with snippets of what you love and make it work.” Bleah. This is old school thinking. In my real world, all my relationships exist because I want them to, all the work I do is because I want to do it, all the food I eat is of the quality I require because I consciously choose it.
Me: Is there anything in your life you do try to seek balance on, or do you steer clear of concept. Or is it that you simply don’t focus your energy on it either way?
Barb: It’s just not a word I align with or use, so no, I can’t think of anything in my life that I would say I try to balance or keep in balance. I prefer to see my thoughts and actions as always moving toward focusing on things that interest me, allow me to feel joyful, learning, evolving, expanding, changing, loving. It’s just that simple – and not about balancing anything – just doing what I love. When it is many things or competing things at once, I simply choose from moment to moment the thoughts or actions that feel most in alignment with my energy, interest and need.
ME: Lastly, if you wouldn’t mind, could you summarize the Rethink Everything Conference that’s coming up in September. I know it’s in it’s 15th year, that’s exciting! I myself, cannot wait to speak at it and attend with my own family. I really want to spread the word about this unique conference!
Barb: What does it mean to be fully alive and free and responsible for oneself in this world, in this lifetime? We are not victims or pawns of culture. We are individuals who are fully capable of living life on our own uniquely designed terms and doing so with gusto and sustainability. The RE conference supports your evolution to this fully alive state but also critically supports parents in creating environments that support their children of all ages to live and thrive in this state. It’s an exciting brave new world and the conference attracts families from around the world who are living lives rich with meaning, freedom and responsibility and those who are on the journey.
The conference lasts for 4 full days with an optional additional full day immersion. Hundreds of sessions and activities take place all weekend for kids, teens and adults. Families have been telling me for years that RE is the best family vacation they have ever taken and kids have been telling me they love RE more than Disneyland or …. Christmas! Holy Cow, I still feel humbled every time another child tells me this.
That’s amazing Barb and so are you! Thank you very much for your wonderful wisdom. And thank you for bringing change to this planet! I can’t wait for the conference and to hug your neck in person!
Be sure to check out the 15th annual Rethink Everything Conference in September. You will get a chance to meet Barb as well as many Rethinkers such as yourself. I will be presenting on several topics including: Tapping into Intuition for adults and children. Also, healing from sexual abuse and Ryan and I will be leading a round table discussion on Sex. It’s all about getting real!
Also get your subscription to the Rethink Everything Ezine. Full of life affirming, life changing and Rethinking articles. You can read my article in the latest issue.
Best Boobie Friend
I have known my best friend for over 25 years now. That is a long time to know someone, aside from your relatives. And when I think of all the different events and circumstances our relationship has weathered, seen, experienced and preservered through, I know that she is not only my best friend, she is my Soul Sister. And I don’t mean that in a lovely, pretty way to dramatically describe our relationship. I mean it as in, she is literally one of my Soul mates in life! You may not understand just how deep it goes because there are no words that fully explain the depth of our relationship; the many layers deep it is.
Our little fairy tale of Best friendship began when we were only 9 years old and in 3rd grade. We were actually dancing rivals, in competition for the elementary school talent show. One year I was accepted and she was not, and the next year she was accepted and I was not. Interestingly, I’m not entirely sure how we managed to bridge the rivalry to become friends. It was most likely at the neighborhood park that was located in the middle of the neighborhood, right between our homes. Although the details are fuzzy about our coming together to be friends, what I do know for sure is that it was a God thing. The reason I know this is because when I reflect on my life, past, present and future, April was never absent, nor will she ever be. There’s never been a more simple equation: Jamie + April = Life, Love and Friendship FOREVER.
We take the term BEST FRIENDS FOREVER quite seriously you see.
I used to think everyone has an April and understands what it’s like. But within the past couple of years I began to realize that actually most people don’t and that what we have is rare. It’s rare that a friendship can weather: hormones, boys, love, love lost, depression, abuse (not of each other), being in different spaces at different times (such as marriage and babies), being Countries apart several times and even being all the way across the same country from one another. Time, space, other people, life events…there ain’t nothing that could change the way we feel about each other; EXCEPT to make our love grow. Our admiration and respect is what changes over time as it gets stronger with each life lesson we learn individually and together. We are very different people in a lot of ways. So much so, that it’s shocking we even get along. But it’s actually in our differences that we find strength and wisdom in one another to plow through life. When April praises me I feel the best I can feel. When April shares wisdom, I listen intently.
I am my best self with her. I am also my worst, my saddest, my most joyful…me. I never ever have to be anyone but me with my best friend. She has seen every aspect, every layer, ever broken part and every strength. The best part is that we love each other unconditionally, in every true sense of the word. THAT is how we have made it this far.
So here we are 25 years later, both turning 34 and my admiration continues to grow for this wonderful person that is kind, loving, loyal, intelligent, healthy, and an inspired work in progress; just like me. I admire the kind of Mother that she is, and I am challenged by the Mother that she strives to be. I respect her efforts over the years to find her passions. I am encouraged by her efforts to heal parts of her broken past, that sometimes seep into her present moment. Her beauty goes far deeper than the outer part that everyone comments on. What you are really seeing is her inner beauty shining through. She is courageous and thoughtful and she’s got some serious biceps!
I’m sure you can imagine that after 25 years, we have lots of ‘inside jokes.” Things like, we wish we could have married each other, but unfortunately at least one of us is the wrong gender for that equation. We also joke about how different we are, and if we were anyone else, we’d probably not even like each other. And at some point a loooong long time ago, we joked about our boobs. The joke is so old, I’m not even totally sure about it except that it ended with that we are “Best Boobie friends” or maybe it was that our boobs were best friends? Either way, this silly little term has stuck. So when you see me write BBF about my sister April, don’t think I confused a B for an F, it’s what I meant to write. And one really awesome thing we’ve figured out is that one of us tends to experience something big, something life altering, something difficult or miraculous first so that we can then give a hand up when the other travels a similar path. It’s one of the most incredible blessings God has ever bestowed me.
Like I stated before, there are really no words to fully express how I feel about this beautiful soul named April, or what our friendship is like. The word “friend” doesn’t even begin to cover it. It would take me a whole book (hmmm….) to cover the span of 25 years. And to know that we’ve easily got another 25 years ahead of us and then some is a beautiful thing.
Today is April’s Birthday. I wanted to honor her in some way. This is how I figured out to do so. It’s a small way for such a meaningful relationship in my life. Fortunately, April knows my heart. I never waste a moment to tell her how awesome I think she is and how grateful I am to have her in my life. I am excited to see what another 25 years looks like. If it’s anything like the past 25 years…it should be interesting!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AN AMAZING FRIEND! I COULDN’T DO LIFE WITHOUT YOU!!
I LOVE YOU BBF!!!!!!
Your Fear Stinks.
Disclaimer: I make no apologies for what you are about to read.
Fear is in every part of our cultures, your lives, your thoughts, your emotions, and in every corner of your home. It seeps through the radio, the television, the newspaper. And whether you know it or not, it bleeds out of every part of your being on a daily basis. And it stinks. At times I can actually smell it. It’s sour and pungent and it hangs thick in the air. Sometimes I feel like I’m choking on it.
Fear comes in the form of your negative beliefs about yourself- that you’re not good enough, thin enough, smart enough. Fear is when you allow others to tell you how to live your life and you do it because you care what they think about you. As opposed to living your own authentic truths and believing that you have a right to be you, shed of anyone else’s stipulations.
Fear starts the moment we become a tiny speck in a woman’s uterus. Fear surrounds and is rampant during a woman’s pregnancy. Starting with the fear factor that there is no way this woman you chose as your Mother could possibly gestate you correctly and bear you to be Earth bound safely and whole. Instead, she will eat and drink all the wrong things, choose to send Sonic waves at you that are most likely what are harming your development and be so disconnected from what is really happening inside of her, aside from what is supposedly going wrong. Then she will drink nasty sugar stuff that will send you into a tizzy and when it does so, the woman you are inside of will be blamed. And when it comes to birthing time, here we are the 21st Century later, and your Mother will be so afraid of bringing you Earth side, she will trust when another Fear-laden person (or many people) tell her that you must be cut out of her like a paper doll. And that’s the beginning of your Fear driven life. Welcome to Earth.
It only goes on from there as your “well-meaning” parents, parent you in fear. Fear you will get hurt, fear you will be stupid, fear you will be fat, fear you will be gay, fear you will end up poor, fear you will be like them (which in truth IS probably the worst thing of all).
And as you grow up and battle the fear, you will take it on, because you will not question any other way. You’re too afraid to not fear. That is the way of this lifetime. And all the fear your parents projected onto you continue on even when you are out of the grip of their fear, (although many never even make it far from their parents fear). As you surround yourself with your fearful friends and fearful teachers and fearful bosses, and fearful co-workers you continue to be AFRAID. It is every aspect of your life.
If you don’t believe me, look around your life for a minute. You won’t see very far past those walls that are built high around yourself and you will bump into the corners of your fear box. You know the corners that tell you that you need to work harder to make more money to have a nicer car so you can be perceived a certain way. You know the other corner that tells you there is no way you could actually be successful doing something you are truly passionate about, instead you must do and be something that society deems acceptable. The other corner over there spills the fear that you just suck in general…but you know this already AND you whole-heartedly believe this.
Your box reeks and quite honestly I hate it and wish you would keep it away from me. It reeks of stranger danger, of cancer, of war, of lack. It stinks of desperatly needing to fit in and conform. It stinks of desperate attempts to put a false front out to the world, instead of letting your soul shine in every aspect of your being. Your energy is gray and lifeless because of this, as you forget to THINK FOR YOURSELF.
And worst of all, your fear begets fear. You continue the cycle. You feed right on into it. Those of you that turn your cheek to the truly horrible things that do happen in our world, like child sexual abuse and stillborn babies, rape, mutilation of our son’s private areas, (for fear they will look different). You act like these things don’t happen and when they do, you say; “No way!”, but really that is actually your fear of facing the TRUTH. And by ignoring injustices and sad things that happen to those you love, those things you are afraid of to begin with; you allow these things to go on and it proves your complete and utter ignorance. As well as you hurt those that you love. You’re afraid of these things, but you’re more afraid to face them to make them stop. And you try to get others to be afraid with you…and most are.
But I am not.
Not only am I not afraid. I am most definitely not afraid of your fear. Not even groups of you. Not even you in my blood line. I’m not afraid of you or your fear. Of the way you try so hard to be just like every one else. I’m not afraid of any names you may call me. I’m not afraid of any negative thoughts you send my way. I’m not afraid to lose you. And for those of you that I don’t know yet, I’m not afraid to never meet you.
I’m not afraid of what the government tries to feed me. I will not put nasty chemicals into my children, even if that means they can’t go to your fear laden schools, (bummer-NOT!) I’m not afraid when the radio tells me it’s bikini season and tries to trick me into feeling too fat to enjoy my summer vacation on the beach. I will not starve myself to conform to your version of beauty. I’m not afraid when the doctor tries to make me believe there is no way to heal my gall bladder, except to just cut it out as if it’s a non necessary part of my body. I mean, why not, who ever knew what a gall bladder did anyways? I’m not afraid when you tell me my baby will die if I birth it at home. I’m not afraid when you tell me my work is of the Devil, (as if you even have a friggen clue)! Besides if anything is the Devils work; it’s your FEAR!
I’m not afraid when you deny that I was sexually abused as a child. I’m not even afraid if you gang up on me in your fear. I find you to be utterly silly and quite stupid really. Mostly though, I pity your LIFE OF FEAR.
I don’t watch the news to start nor end my day with fear. I turn the channel on the TV when those ridiculous commercials come on about weight loss. I don’t watch coverage on the latest natural disaster for 18 hours on end. I get it: a huge wave washed over an entire country and practically wiped it out. That sucks and I’m sorry, I really am. But I will not watch every video about it that comes across Facebook. I will not mourn and mourn and mourn. Instead I will donate blood, send healing energy and prayers, donate to Red Cross, consider the idea of hosting a Japanese family and I will go camping with my family.
Because I am not afraid.
But you are and you will keep on. You will eventually go on to be that fearful pregnant woman (or partner) that is allowing fear to infiltrate every part of your being and that of the tiny speck in your womb. You will not ask questions, nor try to educate yourself, nor will you seek another way.
You will continue the cycle.
So this is what it looks like 9 years later…
Are you the kind of person that as you are in a present moment of your life, you wonder what it will look like years from that point? I’m sure everyone does that occasionally. But I have done it many times in my life and when I’m wondering what the future will look like, I also try to remind myself to remember thinking this thought so I can say “well I wondered and now I know.” I have done that many times. And once I’m in the future (current present) I also remember thinking about what it would look like, feel like and be like once I got here.
Did you get all that? LOL
Well I’ve had another one of those moments recently. Probably my best one yet, because my future turned out just like I wanted it to and it feels and moves and is just as I hoped it would be. See 9 years ago I met my future husband. Long story short we began our romance at Denny’s. Well, not literally, it began at a BBQ at his apartment. But we spent a lot of time at 3AM at Denny’s. We would talk for hours, hardly ever sleep and get hungry. So off we would go to Denny’s to have coffee and breakfast. It became “our place”. And when sitting at Denny’s with this very cute boyfriend that could make me laugh and blush like no one else could, I used to wonder if we would get married and have kids and what that picture would look like. We of course talked about it often: how many kids, what gender (he wanted all boys ), a home, a dog…nothing too unusual.
Well since that time that began in Seattle Washington, we have moved across the country to Mississippi, where Ryan is from. We have two children, both boys, a dog, a home and it feels pretty much like I expected it too- wonderful! The only thing missing from our picture was Denny’s. Denny’s didn’t exist in the South (that I’m aware of) until recently that is. But finally we manifested “our place” just when we needed it. Although it is extremely unhealthy and we would never eat there very often anymore, (like almost never); we were at a place in our marriage recently where we needed a boost. We needed to be reminded how and why we were brought together. We needed to find that initial spark again. 9 years is a long time to be with someone and we most certainly want to be together another 9 and then some. And one particular afternoon as our hearts opened up to each other again, in a new, but well-known way, we were driving down the highway and noticed a huge Denny’s sign being hoisted into the air. It was a sign. Literally and figuratively! That moment meant everything to both of us and we couldn’t wait to sit in that restaurant that held sweet memories of our beginning together.
So about a week later, when it opened, we did go eat there. And this is what the picture looks like: Married, two kids (all boys), a home and a dog at home. The kids are loud and rowdy. We hurry to eat before they start acting crazy. It’s no longer about sitting there and giggling and making out.It’s about figuring out what the kids want to eat and hoping the waitress brings the food quickly. We now talk about going to Home Depot afterward and then the park. We do still dream as well, in between the chaos. I once again wonder what my life will look like another 9 years from now or even further. What will Ryan and I be like in old age? What will it feel like? Will it be as wonderful as it is now? And then I remind myself to think about thinking these thoughts, so I can know I answered this question for myself. Because that’s just how I think.
We’ve come a long way Baby! And here’s what 9 years later looks like:
